They are just a pair of very cute kittens! They work in our news department, and they are our very best writers. Graduated top of their class at Cornell University majoring in English, they are educated little kitties. Sometimes Mr. Kittens likes to referred to as "they" or sometimes "him." It really depends whether or not they feel unified as a single unit or not that day. Mr. Kittens is a hive mind of kittens. Despite being many bodies, Mr. Kittens has a universal concious within the litter of 6 kittens (not pictured).
Baby Johnson works in our Business Economics Department. Entirely self-taught, Baby Johnson possesses the astounding ability to tell the future. This has proven very important when determining which stocks to invest. Baby Johnson is the sole-employee keeping the company's budget in-check. It's safe to say, we're in good hands! If you must refer to Baby Johnson in conversation, Baby Johnson will only be referred to as Baby Johnson. Pronouns are strictly prohibited. Baby Johnson is legally capable to murder any who disrespects Baby Johnson's wishes. This is a warning.
Cowboy is our web developer! He made the website you're looking at right now. Not much is known about Cowboy, but he sure is helpful when coding needs to be done. He likes long walks off a high cliff, 2L of Mountain Dew a day, and, of course, building web pages. Cowboy's favorite slogan is "Shoutout to all my fans watching, I LOVE YOU!" Cowboy currently has a major in Twitch Streaming, and he his acquiring his doctorate in Kyle-ism.
Kyle is our only staff member who gets paid. He loves showing up for work, punching holes in our dry-wall, and popcorn ceilings. He says he likes "interior design," but if anyone would let him decorate a space, they might go clinically insane. Kyle spends most of his time nurturing his moth farm and earning money to invest in his bitcoin mining. Kyle insists that his bitcoin mining isn't an addiction, but he sure does spend a lot of money on GPUs. When was the last time those things were cheap?? Many people are wanting to buy RTX 2080, but Kyle is like "Oh noooooo I gotta make sure the demand is way more than the output of GPUs," and then he goes and inflates the prices of every single GPU worldwide. If Kyle were to manifest in a computer gamer's room at any given amount of time, Kyle would no longer be a concrete noun.